Let's talk about- Self Care

First off, let me apologize for being absent for a while. Sometimes our bodies force us into taking a break, even from the things we love the most. But I’m back! This week I want to talk about something that I have learned the hard way: Self Care is absolutely crucial. I pushed myself too hard a couple months ago and ended up getting sick and burnt out all at the same time. It was terrible. Illness is an unavoidable fact of life, and I used to believe that burnout is too. But after some study and discussions with some activists, educators, and performers I think burnout is not inevitable, although it is common. So how to people who pour their heart and soul into their work, be it their primary income or their side hustle, avoid getting burnt out? Self care. As I was so pointedly reminded recently “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. What is Self Care? In short, it is whatever fills your cup or prevents your cup from being emptied entirely. When I read articles about self care they always recommend things like “get a manicure” or “take a bubble bath” which are fine and good if they work for you, but they are far from the only methods of self care. Different things help different people, pay attention to when you feel good and full and comfortable. That is your self care. That is what refills your cup. It can be time with friends, it can be time alone. It can be time spent lying on your couch binging Netflix with hot cocoa and a really fuzzy blanket. It can be playing with makeup and then washing it off. It can be time spent outside in Nature, hiking or photographing. Playing sports. Reading books. Playing video games. Meditate It can be anything that relaxes and refreshes you. Once you find something that fits the bill, Schedule time to do it regularly. Weekly if you can, daily if you need it. I understand how hard it can be to make time for yourself. Work, kids, school, friends, Spouses or romantic partners, on top of keeping oneself and living space clean, there are so many demands on our time and there aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done. Of course, you can’t pour from an empty cup. And sometimes taking time for self care will involve disappointing someone and having to tell someone No. “No” is one of the most powerful words for self care. For a lot of people it is extremely difficult to say. We don’t want to let people down, we don’t want to back out of commitments. It’s so easy to get spread too thin and next thing you know you’re exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and there are still people expecting more from you. The best way to prevent this is to know your own limits. Everyone has limits. I know that we want to believe that we can do an be anything, and that’s true. But what we can’t do and we can’t be is everything. Energy, time, and fucks-to-give, are limited resources. You don’t have to do everything all at once. Know your limits, know when you’re starting to feel stretched too thin and begin to pull back. A way to prevent burn out long term is to set boundaries and stick with them. Setting boundaries is not bad or selfish or wrong. Setting boundaries allows you to maintain your self care, maintain your supply of energy and time and fucks-to-give for things that really mean something to you. If you feel someone or something over extending your boundaries push back. Give yourself time and space. I can’t tell you what is the best self care for you, I can’t tell you how to set your own boundaries. But what I can recommend you do is check in with yourself often. Notice what makes you feel fuller and more balanced. Try to give yourself space to do more of that. All of this to say, I need to take my own advice. After an unplanned hiatus, I’m going to be publishing articles every other week in order to give myself more time to research each article and more time to heal. I plan to go back to weekly articles once I feel up to it. Thank you to everyone who reached out and checked in on me. It means the world to me. Until next time, take care of yourself. You are worth protecting. -The Magic Condom Fairy 

Photo by Bowie Cosplay Photography.