Let's Talk About: The Magic Condom Fairy
The Magic Condom Fairy is part Cosplay, part advocacy. The project is this blog and my Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. It's comprehensive inclusive fact-based human sexuality education with a side of whimsy and a dash of glitter. It is my passion and I hope soon, my career.
The idea for the Magic Condom Fairy began during Dragon Con of 2015. Prior to this event I had taught sex ed for three years as a volunteer through the Unitarian Universalist church’s O.W.L. program. Though The Magic Condom Fairy is not affiliated with O.W.L. or the UU church I do love the O.W.L. program very much and recommend it highly! I had also been cosplaying for a little while. I’d gone to a few cons, a few events, and had a couple costumes with me for Dragon Con. And although I was aware of the convention’s reputation for being “Mardis Gras for Nerds” I don’t think it prepared me for the huge awesome party that it really was.
For those who are not con-goers cons are big parties for nerds. Think Comic-Con, lots of vendors, celebrities, panels, gaming, and cosplaying. It’s an excuse to don your finest nerd gear, whether that be costume or your favorite fandom t-shirt, and spend a day or five surrounded by people who love the same dorky things that you do. It’s awesome! There are a number of smaller cons in and around Pittsburgh that I attend fairly regularly, but Dragon Con is a whole different level. It extends across five downtown Atlanta hotels, plus the convention center. And it is a 5+ day conference that goes 24 hours a day. And the cosplays are intense and awesome.
Any way, in 2015 I was there, just taking it all in. At one point Lady Chaos (my cosplay bestie) and I ended up in the middle of a packed dance floor and it struck me, this was a HUGE party. So much drinking, dancing, flirting, and yes, hooking up was happening right now. And no one was handing out condoms. There were a few pharmacies nearby where condoms could be purchased, but not in large quantity and not cheaply. (Although condoms are *always* cheaper than babies or STD treatment). I found out later that the local Planned Parenthood had a table there, though I never encountered them. The idea sort of stuck in my head, some one should be at cons handing out condoms. And then, that someone should be me!
Over the course of the next year I let the idea marinate, and then in the fall of 2016 I was given the most amazing gift. Some wonderful women who knew that I was struggling pulled together their resources and bought me the most amazing gown in the world. It had been a bad summer, the job that I had worked so hard to get turned out to be terrible, due in no small part to misogyny. I left that job with only a part time gig lined up and felt like a total failure. But when I realized that these women believed in me, that they knew I could accomplish something, something worthwhile. When I wasn’t even completely sure what it was, it gave me confidence. And when the dress showed up I knew that I had to really go for it.
The Magic Condom Fairy was born. The project gave me a sense of purpose, I wasn’t just cosplaying for fun (although it is fun and I do still do other costumes just for fun) I now had a mission. I began seeking out resources and places to teach. Got in contact with the Allegheny County Health Department who were enthusiastic about providing me with condoms. After the election I found that my new project suddenly had even more importance. Many of us saw the election of the current president as a sign of bad things to come in terms of women’s rights, comprehensive sex education, LGBTQ+ equal rights, and racial justice. Unfortunately, we were right. I marched in the Pittsburgh intersectional Women’s March the day after the inauguration with one of my best friends and a few thousand other truth tellers. I learned why it’s so important to recognize your privilege if you’re going to be an ally. And that you can’t just be an ally for one oppressed group, you can’t advocate for women but ignore black women, you can’t fight for the rights of LGBTQ+ folks and disparage Trans people. I’m still learning to be a good ally, or maybe a good accomplice is better. Because I don’t want to just stand by and shout “I support you!” from the sidelines any more. I want to help change things. I want to get my hands dirty. (More about the difference between Accomplice and Ally in a later post)
In December I published my first piece with Femislay.com, an online feminist blog that focuses on first hand stories from as many different voices as they can. In March I migrated onto my own site and continued to post every week.
I marched with the Health Department in the Pittsburgh Pride Parade and got baptized in glitter. This year I had one Fairy-ette with me. Next year I plan to have a whole flock of us. I’ve spoken at events, hosted a panel at Anthrocon (the world’s largest Furry convention, which is held in Pittsburgh). I’ve attended many conventions, parties, and parades.
One of the best experiences I’ve had this year was attending the Fierce! Queer Burlesque festival. It was an amazing weekend of body positivity, sex positivity, support, love, artistry, and mind blowing sexiness.
This year, 2017, was the first year bringing Condom Fairy to Dragon Con, but it wont be my last. I handed out 2,520 condoms during the convention. Next year I plan to hand out even more.
To date I have handed out 6,210 condoms as the Magic Condom Fairy.
I have found that people usually react in one of three ways when I hand them a condom:
1- Surprise and amusement (a 5’7’’ fairy in a big poofy ball gown handing you a condom is not something you see every day)
2- Shock and disgust (Most commonly people hand it back or throw it on the ground. Occasionally people will say something rude but generally people are good natured)
3- Encouragement
Although I haven’t done enough studying of the matter to be able to give any sort of solid numbers, I can say that people are noticeably more likely to take a condom from a 5’7’’ fairy in a big poofy ball gown then they are from an assuming “normal” looking person. I think it’s because when I’m in costume it’s a *thing*. Like, I’m not just a person giving you a condom I’m THE MAGIC CONDOM FAIRY and it sort of breaks down that social barrier so that being handed something that is normally not seen in public is suddenly OK.
The privilege of being able to do this is not lost on me. And it has also been a privilege in itself. I have met some of the most wonderful and beautiful people because of this. I have learned more about the diverse and beautiful universe of human sexuality and gender and just… humanity than I ever imagine were possible. And it has been so good.
Moving forward I am excited to be giving more public talks, going to more awesome events to hand out condoms, I’m overwhelmed with great ideas for articles, and I’ve even had people reach out to me to invite me to things! My goal, and my hope, is to someday make teaching sex education, writing, advocacy, and handing out condoms in a ball gown into my full time paying job.
To that end, if you like the work I’m doing and would like to help me to do more of it please consider signing up to be a patron at Patreon.com/TheMagicCondomFairy or buying me a coffee at Ko-Fi.com/CondomFairy
Also liking and sharing my work on Social media is a HUGE help to me! Every time someone shares a post I get new readers and more people learn about the things about sex that they never knew they didn’t know! You can find me on Instagram @TheMagicCondomFairy and on Twitter @CondomFairyPgh
Thank you so much and I can’t wait to share more Condom Fairy goodness with you!
Until next week, stay safe. You are worth protecting.
