Let's Talk About: Orgasms
It’s a commonly held misconception that orgasms are the “point” of sex. As if sexual activity is not pleasant enough on it’s own but must amount in something. There is no one cohesive definition of what an orgasm is. Different types of doctors define it differently. However, a working definition that I have found useful is: Orgasms are “a powerful feeling of physical pleasure and sensation, which includes a discharge of accumulated sexual tension”.
People of all genders can have orgasms, and the sensation and technique varies greatly from individual to individual. For the sake of clarity, most sources divide orgasms based on “Male” (having a penis and scrotum) and “Female” (having a clitoris and vagina). The physiological side of orgasms can vary depending on one’s genital structure. Unfortunately I was not able to find much reliable information on how orgasms function for intersex or transsexual people, but I hope to do more research and write an article on the subject at a later date.
There are many different ways of classifying orgasms and people have been trying to articulate them for a long time. Freud said that clitoral orgams in females were “immature” because they were a hangover from penis envy, or something like that. He postulated that a “mature” orgasm was possible once a female accepted that it was her lot in life to be penetrated. Unfortunately many people believed him, thereby depriving women and females of a great deal of sexual pleasure. It’s a totally nonsense idea to me, the idea of one kind of orgasm being more mature than another. Having a preference is always fine, but assigning maturity to pleasure seems like a rather arbitrary endeavor.
Here are some less arbitrary classifications:
Pressure induced- Often non-sexual (yes there are non sexual orgasms) arising from indirect stimulation of applied pressure. A common form of self soothing for children.
Exercise induced- Another non-sexual form of orgasm thought to be unique to females, where the stimulation caused by exercise such as lifting, climbing, or running causes orgasm.
Combination or blended- a combination of types of orgasms
Multiple- a series of orgasms all occurring in succession in a short period of time, thought to be unique to females.
Relaxation- derived from deep relaxation during sexual stimulation.
Tension- The most common form of orgasm, caused by direct stimulation where muscles tense up until they finally release.
Clitoral- Unique to females, an orgasm from strictly clitoral stimulation. (See my article linked at the end of this article about the clitoris)
G-spot- A penetration orgasm; another unique orgasm to females, currently being debated. The “g-spot” was considered to be a bundle of nerves inside the vagina, on the front wall about two inches up, however it’s now widely believed that the “g-spot” is actually not a unique structure but rather the backside of the clitoris which may extend into the vagina.
Fantasy- Yet again, another orgasm unique to females. The ability to orgasm by thought alone without any physical stimulation. Not a common form of orgasm and not something that every female is able to do..
There are more classifications, but those seem to be the major ones.
When it comes to describing the physiological process of orgasm, there are a few different ways of breaking it down, the circular model, the Kaplan 3 stage model, but personally I prefer the Master & Johnson 4 phase model, which while not a universal system for understanding orgasmic responses, is a pretty good one.
The four phases are: Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, Resolution. Excitement is when you are first becoming aroused and beginning stimulation. Plateau is when stimulation is taking place, building the orgasm. Then Orgasm occurs. Followed by Resolution which is the body returning to normal.
Let’s start with the female orgasm.
At first we have arousal by either physical or psychological stimulation. Then the blood vessels in the genitals dilate, causing swelling of the labia and clitoral erection. This also causes fluid to pass through the walls of the vagina, making it wet. Blood pressure, heart rate, and pulse all begin to rise. Many females appear flushed especially in their cheeks and chest, breasts can begin to enlarge thanks to the dilation of blood vessels. As orgasm approaches the clitoris pulls closer to the body and the walls of the vagina become firm. Rhythmic contractions begin in the genitals. This is sometimes accompanied by involuntary leg shaking as well. The female orgasm can last anywhere from 13-51 seconds. Females do not have a refractory period between orgasms and if appropriate stimulation continues (what constitutes appropriate varies by individual) females can continue to have orgasms. The world record for largest number of orgasms in an hour by a female is 134. Once orgasms have finished, the female body will slowly return to it’s former state, swelling goes down, breathing and heart rate reduce to normal levels, and the body relaxes. Sometimes called the “after glow” this period of relaxation is often a favorite part of sexual contact.
Male orgasms start much the same way, with either psychological or physical stimulation. As excitement begins the corpea (spongey tissue in the penis) begins to fill with blood, causing the penis to grow and harden, become erect. Blood pressure, breathing, and pulse all quicken. The thigh and buttock muscles tense and the testicles tense and the scrotum contracts, bringing them closer to the body. As orgasm approaches pelvic floor muscles, prostate, seminal vesicles and vas deferens all contract and force semen to the urethra. As orgasm occurs semen is forced out of the penis. Typically a male orgasm can last 10-30 seconds. Males have a “refractory period” after an orgasm in which they can not have another orgasm or become aroused. The refractory period can vary widely from man to man, but generally it’s between a few minutes to a few hours, sometimes reaching a day or so as a man ages. During this period the body resets, the penis loses its hardness and returns to a flaccid state and the male’s pulse and breathing return to normal. The world record for most orgasms had by a man in an hour is 16.
Sometimes, it’s not so simple. There are many disorders that can affect a person’s ability to fully experience an orgasm. For females the most common is Anorgasmia, the inability to orgasm. It can be primary, never having orgasmed, or secondary, someone who once was able to now is no longer able to. Anorgasmia can be caused by many factors, from anxiety and depression to a whole host of gynecological issues. Anorgasmia is nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to a lot of people, in fact it’s estimated that 10-15% of women* have never had an orgasm. I could not find data on the percentage of people who experience bouts of anorgasmia but I presume it is rather high. Remember, you’re not broken. You’re not faulty. It’s just a thing that can happen. If you’re experiencing difficulty with orgasm, it may be worth while to see your gynecologist and make sure everything is okay. Also, if your partner has anorgasmia, it’s not your fault. Do the best you can for your partner, communicate, and be supportive.
For males there are two primary orgasm related disorders. Premature ejaculation is when a male cums within one minute of penetration or stimulation. Although it can be embarrassing, it is rarely harmful and most often resolves itself. Premature ejaculation can be caused by any number of factors but the most common are psychological, such as anxiety, nervousness, or depression. Even though people mock the phrase “it happens to a lot of guys”, it’s true. ⅓ of men* have experienced PE at some point in their lives. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. If it’s an ongoing problem, it may be worth seeing a doctor and making sure that your hormone levels are okay, as that can also be a contributing factor. Males also can experience erectile dysfunction, which is the inability to get an erection. This can be caused by any number of factors and is extremely common in men once they reach middle age and older. The profusion of viagra and cialis commercials during any NFL game is proof enough of that. ED can also affect younger men for any number of reasons, stress, illness, injury, alcohol, or drug use. If it’s a recurring problem it may be worth while to see a doctor, there are a lot of medications on the market to treat it, or there might be some underlying issue that can be resolved. As with the female disorders, it’s important to remember that there’s nothing *wrong* with you as a person if you have an orgasm disorder. You’re not “less of a man” or broken or unworthy. It’s a medical disorder, not a moral one.
Orgasms can be great, and are. But it’s important to remember that orgasms are not the be all and end all of sexual contact. One of my sources for this article said that saying orgasms are the whole point of sex is like saying that the view is the whole point of mountain climbing. Although it is nice, and it is a part of the appeal, it is not the whole of the experience. It’s also important to remember that every body is different, and everybody likes different things so communicating with your partner about their body and their needs is the utmost importance.
Now go forth and find your orgasm.
Until next week, stay safe out there.
-Erin
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* The sources I got this information from used the terms Men and women and not the biological terms male and female. I used the terms used by the original sources but wanted to add this note for clarity’s sake.
Sources